A Big Load Off!

We finally sent off our big stack of paperwork to Holt yesterday! After spending a couple nights grinding away, we finished our Personal Data forms. Those questions were not easy and took some thought to answer. That big yellow envelope represented so much time and effort, I sent it certified mail even though we weren't required to do so. I just had to be able to track it and know that it got there.
Last weekend was our first session of parenting classes that Holt offers and I was surprised at how helpful I found it. I just didn't know what to expect at first, but it ended up giving us a lot of information and advice on how to talk about adoption with our child and with other people. They also shared a lot of stories on what they have observed makes a child successfully bond with their new family and also walking us through some of the issues an adopted child may face.
A couple we go to church with was also at the class and is going through the adoption process with Holt as well. It's such a blessing to do this with them for lots of reasons, but at the class I became especially thankful that our adopted children will know each other and not feel like they are the only adopted kids in the world.
Next step is to go through our Country Guidebook, which for China is about an inch think and reminds me of the readers you used to get in college for some of your classes. It will give us all the information we need about our dossier.

How we got started

The idea for a blog came actually out of frustration. Paul was thousands of miles away on a First Fruit trip and we had just sent in our adoption application to Holt International on October 3, 2008. Holt got in touch with us right the next week and wanted to go over the process on the phone, having to conference in Paul from Vietnam. The entire overview they gave us was instantly overwhelming and I (Eliza) was especially anxious since Paul was away and there were so many decisions to make and things to discuss.

A few days later I told Paul how overwhelmed I was and he suggested that we start a blog. It would be a therapeutic sort of thing, to journal about our thoughts and struggles going through this process. It would also be a means of support so we can share with close friends what our prayer needs are.

But in starting this blog, I also thought it could serve another purpose. To maybe demystify the adoption process a little bit in case there was someone who may be interested in adoption but not sure what it entails. I was definitely in that place a couple of years ago.

It may not be the smoothest transitions from logistics to emotional reactions, but I'll do my best :)

• Oct. 3,2008. Sent in application for adoption ($200)
• Oct. 17, 2008 Conference call with Holt, Paul and I. Received that day emails containing info on parenting classes we are required to take, forms for fingerprinting and criminal background checks (FBI and State of CA), child abuse registry checks for every state you've lived in since 18yrs (four states for Paul, this was a pain), request for copies of marriage and birth certificates, and an invoice for the Home Study fee ($2900)
• Oct. 30, 2008 After receiving our Home Study fee we got another email containing even more forms! Employment verification form, financial statement form, medical reports to confirm we are in good health (for China they also require a notarized physical examination by your doctor for your dossier. Dossier is all the forms, pictures, and documents that serve to represent your family to Chinese officials), and the kicker, a 16-page Personal Data Information Form where you answer all sorts of questions about yourself and your life.

So that last email was over a month ago and we are still not done with the forms. I just went to the doctor yesterday to get my physical and Paul goes on Friday. And we haven't touched the Personal Data stuff yet! I just signed up for parenting classes offered by Holt for next weekend where I'll get two out of five of the series completed.

One last important mention for this post. After sending in our application and learning that the timeline for adoption from China was running 3-4 years right now, we heard about the Child of Promise option that cuts the timeline to a year to year and a half when you are open to a child with minor/correctable medical issues. I, who NEVER has made time to read a book in at least 2 years, happened to be reading Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder about a doctor who overcomes tremendous obstacles and opposition to bring quality medicine and care to very poor countries. It made me think about diseases and ailments that in America are relatively simple to treat, but in developing countries where resources are scarce it can mean death or a lifetime of hardship and pain. Reading about this doctor's story readily put me in the mindset to want to adopt a Child of Promise and I shared with Paul what I was thinking.

Paul was still abroad traveling and needed more time to think and pray over it. A few weeks later he was in Hong Kong for a conference and on the plane read a story in Holt's newsletter about a family who adopted a girl with cleft lip and how she has blessed their lives. That plus spending the week in China and Paul came home ready to go with the Child of Promise option! It encouraged me and reassured me that God was with us in this and would continue to lead us every step.

It's Official

Our little family of three is about to grow.

For those of you who have known us well, this comes as no surprise. We have begun submitting paperwork to bring home a baby sister for Malia from China.

There will be many, many unknowns throughout this process. It's both exciting and scary. In the end, though, we really feel called to do this.

The idea of "calling" is such an opaque, sometimes nebulous concept... especially when you try to explain it to someone in plain English. It's more than just a feeling in your gut... although that's part of it. It's more than using the "adaptive unconscious", as Malcolm Gladwell puts it in his book, Blink. It's feeling a sense of peace that you're doing what you were made to do... It's experiencing deep-seated joy in living out that sense of calling, even when the going gets tough... It's knowing that God is smiling down on you as you take each step of faith.

We know not every family would want to embark on something like this, nor do we feel like we're any braver nor nobler nor more virtuous than any other couple. We simply believe this is what we are called to do, and we are so very delighted to think about bringing home this child and loving her to the fullest extent a parent can love a daughter.

Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, we've requested a girl. :)