When Eden first came home, she was pretty good about sticking right by us so we relaxed a bit on allowing other people to play with her, hold her, etc. We've learned it's called "trauma attachment", where the child may stick to you like glue because they are afraid of all the big changes that have happened and feel insecure about what will happen next. So it turns out that as she's adjusted and gotten used to her new home and surroundings, she is also now getting very comfortable with other people very quickly. A little too quickly. Any new adult she meets is a potential caregiver to her and she will readily follow them around since they're more likely than mommy to offer her sweets and let her have her way with toys and other kids.
It's way more complex than I just described and I know it may be hard for someone who hasn't had the experience of trying to bond and connect with an adopted child to understand. I don't expect everyone to understand it, but we're just asking for the support of our friends and family in stepping back from loving on Eden and allow us the time to form a solid attachment. We will fill people in as we spend time with you, but basically we ask that you not touch/hold her, offer her food or toys, and if she comes to you for any of these things to redirect her to one of us.
We have appreciated the love all of you have shown her, sincerely. Thank you for supporting us in this way.
2 comments:
You all are doing a great job, and I know that God will bring you through this trying time and bind you together as a family.
Loved the recent posts, Eliza! Will say a prayer. Our family sends love to yours!
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